Why Everyone's Starting Over at 30

Janel, here. Coming in with more of a think-piece on a topic that’s taken over my brunches and coffee dates. I figured you’d relate, so let’s get into it.

Open TikTok. Scroll through Instagram, heck even LinkedIn. Count how many 30-somethings you come across that are quitting their corporate jobs, moving cross-country, and picking up freelancing work while they figure out what’s next. 

A 28-year-old "starting over" in tech after five years in marketing.

A recently laid-off 35-year old who’s “in a rut” and taking you along as she presses the reset button.

A 32-year-old documenting their journey from finance to freelance writing (and launching a Substack in the process) with the compelling hook "come with me as I completely restart my life."

At this point you might be thinking, “Well yeah, Janel, I found you from one of your many videos on what it’s like to start again in your 30s.”

And you're right: I'm absolutely part of this trend. 

I've shared my own journey of walking away from traditional career paths, questioning everything I thought I wanted, and rebuilding my professional life from scratch. I've posted about the messy middle of career transitions, the identity crisis that comes with starting over, and the strange relief of finally admitting that the path you're on isn't working. I've been that person documenting the pivot in real-time, inviting you along for the ride because frankly, it felt too big and too scary to navigate alone.

But what we’re watching play out on social media is more than a just string of career pivots or new apartment leases. I think we're watching the collective breakdown of everything we were promised about how careers were supposed to work.

A Bit of Data to Warm Us Up…

It’s been a while since I’ve done some earnest research (getting my masters in 2017, to be exact), so I’m a little rusty here. But surveys are showing that career reinvention is a bigger phenomenon than a TikTok trend:

• 91% of millennials anticipate changing jobs every three years (which would equal about 16 jobs over a 50-year career)-- a significant increase from previous generations who averaged around 12 jobs over their entire careers. (via Gallup)

• 21% of millennials say they've changed jobs within the past year, and Gen Z are switching jobs at a rate 134% higher than they did in 2019, according to LinkedIn data, which is more than three times the number of older generations who also report switching jobs. (via MyShortLister)

And it's not just job-hopping anymore-- we’re making complete career overhauls. These aren't lateral moves within the same industry. These are full-stop, burn-it-down, 360-degree transformations.

One of the most surprising– and telling– stats I came across?

• Only 6% of millennials say their primary career goal is to reach a leadership position. We’re officially the first generation to collectively shrug off the corner office. (via Deloitte)

A Perfect Storm of Systemic Failure

To understand why everyone's having a career crisis at 30, you have to understand what we were sold versus what we got.

🤩 The Promise: Go to college, get a good job, climb the ladder, buy a house, retire comfortably.

😟 The Reality: Graduate with crushing debt into a gig economy where "good jobs" require 5+ years of experience for entry-level roles, where home ownership feels like a fantasy, and where retirement accounts are decimated by economic crises every decade.

We're the generation that was told we were “going places” (wink wink), that we could be anything, that passion was enough. Instead, we entered the workforce during the Great Recession, lived through a global pandemic that redefined work entirely, and now we're watching AI potentially eliminate entire job categories. We did AP-exam-level preparation for a future that doesn’t exist anymore.

😵‍💫 The Impact: When external systems fail, we internalize it as personal failure. When the traditional path doesn't work, we assume we're doing something wrong. When the economy shifts beneath our feet, we blame ourselves for not adapting fast enough.

The Identity Crisis Behind the Career Crisis

Here's where it gets interesting, psychologically-speaking.

Previous generations had clearer scripts: You were a doctor, a teacher, a factory worker. Your job was your identity, and that identity was relatively stable. You might hate your job, but at least you knew who you were.

Now, though, we're living in an era of infinite choice with no clear script. Sure, we can technically be anything, do anything, and reinvent ourselves at any moment. But the paradox of choice is that it’s not liberating, it’s paralyzing.

When you can be anything, how do you know what you should be?

Then add in the constant performance of identity on social media. While we’re trying to figure out who we are, we're also curating who we are for an audience at the same time. The "come with me as I start over" content is both documentation and identity performance that’s reinforced by the algorithm favoring (or hiding) your reinvention content and the dopamine hit that follows every affirming like or comment.

The Content Machine Feeding Anxiety

Internet-native generations feeling social-media-induced anxiety? For spring? Groundbreaking.

💗 To be clear: I know first-hand how healing it can be to document a process that feels very vulnerable. I’m in no way shaming anyone who shares content around their reinvention journey, but offering a take on the content consumer POV who may be feeling the same disillusionment.

Because social media has turned career anxiety into content, and content into career anxiety. The algorithm feeds us stories of transformation because transformation gets engagement. But I’m sure it's creating a feedback loop: The more we see people "starting over," the more we question our own choices.

This isn't necessarily bad. Sometimes you need to see other people jumping to realize you're allowed to jump, too. But it's also creating a culture where staying put feels like giving up, where stability feels like stagnation, where not burning it all to the ground in your early 30s means you're not living your best life.

And the irony might be that most of these "starting over" stories are actually just normal career development repackaged as radical transformation.

The pottery instructor probably always loved art. The tech career changer has probably always been good with computers. The freelance writer has probably always been writing, just not through a beautifully-branded Substack.

The Economics of Existential Dread

I am… how do I put this? Not an economist. But I do think we need to bring money into this conversation, because that's a huge part of it.

Work/life balance is the top consideration when Gen Zs and millennials are choosing an employer. Not because we're lazy or entitled, but because we've realized the traditional trade-off doesn’t work.

Our parents could trade time for security: work hard, stay loyal, get a pension.

We're trading time for... what exactly? The promise of security evaporated with the gig economy. The promise of advancement got flattened by the constant corporate layoffs. The promise of retirement got pushed back by lack of raises and rising costs of living.

When the economic incentives dry up, people start optimizing for different things. If you can't buy a house anyway, maybe you optimize for fulfillment. If job security is a myth, maybe you optimize for time flexibility. If the corporate ladder is broken, maybe you build your own.

What We're Really Searching For

At its core, the 30-something career crisis is about meaning.

We're the generation that was promised we could have it all, but now we're realizing that "all" might not be what we thought it was.

Now, we're searching for:

• Work that feels meaningful in a world that often feels meaningless

• Financial security in an economy that seems to punish loyalty

• Work-life balance in a culture that glorifies burnout

• Authenticity in a world that demands performance

• Community in an increasingly isolated society

The career crisis may actually be a values crisis, wherein we're changing our relationship to work itself.

Now What?

So yes, everyone's starting over at 30. But it's not because we're flighty or ungrateful or afraid to commit (okay, maybe a little of that last one).

It's mostly because we're living through a fundamental shift in how work, life, and identity intersect.

We're a generation caught between the old rules and the new reality. We were raised with one set of expectations and entered a world with completely different rules. Your career crisis isn't a personal failing– it's a collective response to macro change.

So maybe the career crisis at 30 is exactly what it should be: a reckoning with a system that was never designed for us in the first place.

What's your take? Are you feeling the pull to "start over," or are you finding meaning in staying put? The comments are open! 

This week’s question comes from Ciera, who is considering entrepreneurship once her corporate contract ends this year. She writes:

I get this all the time — and here’s what I always say: your first clients, collaborators, and biggest opportunities will almost always come from your existing network. And guess where they already are? LinkedIn. You don’t need to be “good” on video to be good on LinkedIn. You just need a point of view and the courage to share it. Start by posting once a week with ideas, insights, or lessons you’ve learned — the same ones you find yourself giving friends or coworkers IRL.

And about keeping things “career-focused”: personal brand is professional brand now. You don’t have to share your deepest life story — just let people see how you think, what you care about, and the value you bring. The best insurance policy for your career is a visible, credible personal brand that people trust — whether you stay self-employed or go back to corporate later. Try this content formula:

janelabrahami

14K followers

View more on Instagram

Love the newsletter but want more? Did you know I put together an entire course called Pivot with Purpose? Think of it like a supercharged version of all the best content from this newsletter, tailored to help you nail your career goals.