What 30+ Women Had to Unlearn to Finally Thrive

This week, I posed a question to my social audiences and group chats:

“If you’re a woman over 30 who is genuinely thriving and at peace, what is something you had to unlearn to get to where you are today?”

The responses really moved me, so I wanted to share some of the top ones with you in this week’s newsletter:

“If you’re a woman over 30 who is genuinely thriving and at peace, what is something you had to learn (or unlearn) to get to where you are today?”

• That being willing to navigate difficult conversations with people is a sign of love and respect, and doesn’t have to be a sign of conflict. –Jillian

• How to stop being “cool girl” and start actually being how I wanted to be. —Elizabeth

• [The false belief that] my life would really begin once I was in a committed relationship/had my own children. –Dana

• Unlearning the urge to be helpful, and asking for what I need first  –Linda

• Everything is not supposed to be hard all the time! If a part of life feels like you are just trudging through every day (for me, this was work, which bled into the rest of life), something else is probably a better fit for you! –Sarah

• Letting others feel their issues without getting the empath side of me involved –Elysia

• Asking questions isn't a weakness or showing you're not smart, but a way to build a relationship –Sarah

• It’s ok to admit you don’t know something. Not knowing everything doesn’t mean you’re dumb, it just means you don’t know that specific thing. –Kim

• People aren’t always going to understand or get you. That’s not your problem to deal with, as long as you feel confident in yourself and your own decisions. –Harper

• Just because I’m disappointed doesn’t mean I did something wrong, and therefore, I don’t need to beat myself up about it and fixate on how to make sure I’m never disappointed again. –Judy

• Don't wait until you feel the need for self care. By then it's likely too late. Build it into your everyday life. –Tammy

• Emotional tears are healthy. They literally help flush cortisol out of your body. Let them flow. –Theresa

• Believe people when they show or tell you who they are the first time. –Kelly

• You don't get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate for. –Alice

• I learned to stop apologizing when I don't have anything to apologize for, but instead mean something like "I'm uncomfortable / concerned / feeling too vulnerable and I don't know how to give that voice.” –Becca

• I had to unlearn my whole plan. Having a rigid plan was keeping me from discovering what I was actually good at and what I actually loved. –Mallory

Respond to this email and tell me– what is something you had to learn (or unlearn) to get to where you are today?”

This week’s question comes from Cole, a lawyer in Austin, via TikTok:

Brand partnerships!

When I first started creating content, I assumed any real income would come from live coaching or Pivot With Purpose course sales —things I had “built” myself. But the momentum of brand partnerships surprised me. Once a few videos hit and I had a consistent point of view, companies started reaching out to collaborate. Some of those deals ended up being more lucrative per project than the things I had poured months into building.

On the flip side, coaching— while incredibly fulfilling— has ebbs and flows I didn’t anticipate. Demand isn’t always steady, and I realized it required a lot of my direct energy to scale. That’s what pushed me to find retainer consulting clients that feel more sustainable long-term.

So, don’t underestimate the “unexpected” revenue streams that come when you’re visible and consistent. Sometimes the thing you thought would be a side dish ends up being the entrée!

Love the newsletter but want more? Did you know I put together an entire course called Pivot with Purpose? Think of it like a supercharged version of all the best content from this newsletter, tailored to help you nail your career goals.