💥 Feedback Tips for Sensitive People

I’m a very sensitive person.

Water sign, Enneagram 4, INFJ, all of the things. While I usually appreciate this quality in myself (I’ve actually come to realize that my sensitivity is one of my superpowers), it does tend to complicate one big part of work life: receiving constructive feedback. 

Yes, I’ve cried in a feedback conversation with my manager before.

Yes, I’ve spent days overthinking one fairly neutral comment from a coworker.

Yes, I’ve considered quitting from embarrassment over a small misstep (just kidding, but not really?). 

Whether it’s a mid-year performance review, a project post mortem, or a more casual convo with a colleague, feedback is coming whether we like it or not.

And how we receive feedback is just as important as the feedback itself.

Here are 3 keys to hearing and integrating constructive feedback when you’re more sensitive than others:

1. Get ahead of your emotional response. If you know that you tend to react emotionally to charged conversations, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that from the get-go. Try: “Before we dive in, I want to let you know that I may get emotional during this conversation, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to hearing your feedback. I am present, and I take this seriously.” Have some water nearby, and don’t be afraid to ask for a quick break and resume the conversation after 5-10 minutes.

2. Remember that feedback is a gift. Before you roll your eyes at this one, think about it: the person giving you feedback doesn’t have to tell you how you can improve. They’re sharing this feedback because they care about your potential and want you to succeed (especially if they’re not your boss). Listen with open ears and focus on how cool it is this person wants to help you get better.

3. Decide what you’ll implement- and what you won’t. While feedback is indeed a gift, YOU are ultimately the one who can choose to use it or not. Spoiler alert: you don’t need to implement every piece of feedback you receive. Anything mean-spirited and not constructive? Fine to leave that one out of the toolbox.

What other practices have helped you receive feedback in a way that keeps you even-keeled?

KGYGT (keep going, you got this),

Janel

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